


Time

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Reaper76 [46]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Loyalty, M/M, Memories, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Past Torture, Second Chances, Secrets, Survivor Guilt, Team as Family, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 20:56:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16605311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Sheer desperation leads Jack on a path that takes him back to where everything began to unravel, only this time he has to take a different path, make a different choice...for everyone





	1. Prologue

_Time._

_Time had been the thing that had torn them apart and allowed things to fester until it had become an infection that had had taken hold. It had been Time that had borne witness to everything that had followed. The betrayals, the exile, the deaths and destruction that followed their path. Time that had seen them re-join the war with new faces, and on different sides and lose again._

_It was Time that would save them all._

****

   Jack cursed under his breath as the door shuddered again, eyes narrowing behind his visor as though that would help his focus, quivering as he brought his rifle up in readiness. The weight of the weapon was usually reassuring, but today he felt as though it was too much. Maybe because everything they had left was resting on the outcome of this mission, or maybe he was just getting old, a man broken by war and loss, and once again he wondered if they had made the right choice trying this. If they’d made the right decision in choosing him to do this. However, it was too late to think like that. Talon and the Omnics that they had enlisted to help them had them surrounded, and all that was holding them back was an old security door, and a makeshift barricade that rattled with every shudder of the door. There was no getting out of this, which meant that their plan had to work.

   Beside him he saw Ana flinch at another muffled bang before she steadied herself, bringing her own weapon to bear on the door, fingers turning white as she clutched it tightly. It was reassuring to have her at his side once more, and he took a deep breath as the door groaned worryingly. It wasn’t going to hold much longer, but then again it didn’t need to hold out for long. With that thought in mind he risked taking his gaze off the door, tilting his head to look at their third companion.

“Winston?”

“I’m nearly there.” Winston’s voice was a mere echo of its former self, and Jack couldn’t help but turn to look at him properly, heart aching as he saw how the Scientist was struggling to remain upright, let alone work on the device in front of him. He longed to tell Winston to stop, to rest… His eyes darted down to the rough bandages they’d managed to wrap around the wound that had reduced him to this state, and he swallowed, knowing that rest would do little good at this stage. But it was a moot point, that device - the faint blue glow so painfully similar to the one that had followed Lena’s every move now casting an eerie light over Winston’s face, was their only hope now. It was the only chance they had left to a win a war that had been lost long before Zurich had crumbled beneath their feet.

_Our only hope._

    Jack almost laughs at that thought. It had been years since they’d had hope, and he can’t help but wonder yet again why it’s him that they’re pinning their hopes on. They’d done that once before and look where it had got them. He’s tried to tell himself that they’re not, that the only reason he’s being the one sent back - if their plan works, if the device can do what they need it to, is because his body, as aged and ragged it is, is the only one that could survive the journey. _All that stuff they pumped into me had to be good for something,_ the words had been a joke once, something that he’d used to take the edge of the fact that he had survived when so many others hadn’t. He hadn’t expected there to be a time when it was the truth.

   However, he also knew Ana and Winston saw it as more than that, for reasons he couldn’t understand they believed in him. They believed in Jack Morrison not Soldier 76, and it terrified him because he wasn’t sure how much of ‘Jack’ was left any more.

   An ominous creak made him glance upwards in alarm, fingers tightening on his pulse rifle. _Time, we need more time._ It always came down to time. Time had slowed him down, made him less useful. Time had passed, allowing the wounds from Zurich and before to grow deeper in some of them and healed in others. It was Time, according to Lena and Winston that might be able to save them. It had been Lena, her accelerator in smoking ruins against her chest and blood trickling down her chin as she teetered between death and falling out of step with time who had whispered it, a crazy idea - a desperate idea, that they reverse engineer her accelerator. That they use the technology that had kept her alive for so long to enable someone else to go back in time, to try and change all of this. There had been tears in her eyes as she begged them to try, to save Overwatch, to save their friends - to save Emily. There had been tears on Jack’s cheeks for the first time in years as he’d held her close and promised that they would try, that he would try even though he hadn’t believed that it was possible, but it had been worth it for the tiny, relieved grin on her face before she’d died in his arms.

    It was for her and all the others that they’d lost both before and after the Recall that they were here, staging their final stand at the Watchpoint. They’d been here for days, hiding in the basement levels as Winston worked to pull off a miracle that Jack still didn’t believe possible, knowing that there was no way they could remain hidden forever. Athena had long since been lost to the Omnics, and Talon knew them. Knew their habits, their hideouts and Gab…Reaper was out for blood, especially Jack’s blood. And he tensed further as the door shuddered, large dents appearing in the metal that looked suspiciously like large, metallic hands had punched it. _Omnics._

“We’re running out of time.”

“I know!” Winston growled throwing him a quick glare, hands never ceasing their work. “Jack…” He had turned back to the device, seemingly completely focused on it, but Jack could see that his eyes were distant, and he hummed to show he was listening, not daring to look away from the door. “I know that you want to fix things. That you’re going to fix things!” There is so much confidence, so much hope in his words that Jack flinched, thankful that his mask hides his expression as he feels his face twist. _Why? Why do you still believe in me?_ He’s sure Ana knows where his thoughts have gone because she shifts closer, although she doesn’t break the silence, waiting like him to see where Winston is going with this. “But…there are some things that should be left the same. Or maybe, things that I would like to see left the same.”

“Such as?”

“What happened to me,” Winston glances at him, eyes intense behind the cracked glasses and it stops the protest that had immediately bubbled up in Jack’s throat, letting the Scientist continue in an urgent voice as he glanced at the door. “The Lunar Colony and its fall. I want you to promise me that you will let it happen, exactly as it did back then…it might change inadvertently because of everything else, but don’t deliberately try to change it.”

“But…”

“I miss Winston,” Winston admitted, turning back to the device with a soft smile. “But, this Winston wouldn’t exist without all that. So please, Jack…”

   Jack wants to argue with him, to point out that the whole reason for trying this insane plan in the first place is to fix everything, to protect everyone and he faltered as he realised what he was thinking. Those were the thoughts of his old self, not the man who had been through hell and back and realised that it simply wasn’t possible to protect everyone. Even if he did make it back, even if he did change the moment when everything began to unravel it didn’t mean that everyone they had lost would survive. They might take a different path or face a different end, but they would still have to face it, and he couldn’t stop that. Besides, Winston was right he realised, if he intervened with something of that magnitude then everything would change, Winston wouldn’t be Winston, he might never get the chance to join Overwatch, they might never meet and become comrades and later friends. But it was more than that. It’s just the three of them now. Jack. Ana. Winston. They’re all that remains of Overwatch now, and even that’s going to end today, and so he doesn’t argue, instead giving a tight nod of understanding. They all know that it’s a last request, a dying hope, and he can’t bring himself to refuse.

“I promise,” he murmured, seeing Winston relax slightly at his words _. I promise_. He adds it to the list of promises he’s made, the ones left unfulfilled, the ones broken by everything that had happened, determined that this time nothing will break his word. Taking a steadying breath, trying not to think about how long that list is or about the weight of the peoples’ lives that he needs to save if their plan works, instead turning to glance at Ana. “Got any requests for me?” For a moment, he thinks that she isn’t going to answer, her attention fixated on the door as it rattles again, more dents joining the ones already there and he knows it won’t be long until they’ve broken through, but finally she turns her head just enough to look at him.

“I…” Jack is once again glad that the mask hides his expressions because she would hate to see the dismay - the worry, he can feel on his face as she visibly hesitates, and he bites back a sigh as he studies her. The strong, beautiful woman he had known for years and loved as a sister had become but a shadow of herself in the recent months, her expression underlain with grief that had never faded since they’d lost Fareeha and it had darkened with each loss they’d suffered since. Yet barely there, hidden beneath the grief and the determination is something akin to the hope, the faith that she had always shown in him and Overwatch back in the early days, and he swallows nervously at the sight of it but doesn’t speak as she seems to collect herself. “Make sure that I tell Fareeha how much I love her, every day. Make sure that I make time to be a mother.” There was pain and regret in her expression now, emotions that he’s all too familiar with, but he can’t bring himself to ignore them, and he reached out, cautiously laying a gloved hand on her arm.

“She knew, she always knew.” There had been a time when Fareeha had refused to believe it, arguing against anyone, including Jack who tried to tell her that Ana loved her and that she would have been proud of what she had become. But there was nothing like fighting a war on multiple fronts to break down barriers when there was only a small group of people that you could trust, and in the end, the pair had been as close as they’d been when Fareeha was younger. “But this time you’ll get to see her grow up, you’ll be right there by her side,” _I promise_ … It’s another promise, another weight that settles onto his shoulders and a small part of him can’t help but wonder if he will be able to bear it.

“Don’t make too many promises.” Ana had always known him to well, a knowing glint in her eye as she looked at him that left him with the urge to duck his head, still easily cowed by her even after all these years. It’s only the years of experience that give him the ability to resist the urge, straightening instead, fingers tightening around his weapon even as he scrambles for something to say that will reassure her that he will be okay. Reassure them both that he’s going to be okay.

“I…”

    Whatever he had been about to say was lost as the door finally admitted defeated, caving in beneath the force of the blows with the shrill shriek of metal being torn apart and their barricade explodes inwards, Jack flinging himself forward to yank Ana out of its path with a curse. They were out of time. He had a brief impression of Omnics, blank, emotionless faces turning towards them and in between the sleek units, he can spy Talon agents scrambling to bring their weapons to bear on them. He’s already readying to fire as he regains his balance, but Ana growls at him, shoving him back with a shake of her head.

“Go!” She’s already firing, providing a cover for him to move back and something unpleasant twists in his stomach even as he obeys, darting across to Winston just in time for the scientist to throw up the last of his shield barriers and Jack snarls as he realizes that it doesn’t reach Ana’s position and he’s about to double back when she risks a brief glance over her shoulder at him. “Go! Jack don’t let this be for nothing! It’s the only way to fix this, to save them all!” There are tears on her cheeks at the end, and then she was falling, a puppet with its strings cut and all Jack can see for a moment is the blood spray, the all too familiar sound of shotguns echoing in the basement as a dark shape rushes past Ana’s fallen form and aiming straight for them.

_Ana…_

“Jack! It’s too late! Go back stop this…” Jack hadn’t even realised that he was struggling against Winston’s hold, fighting to get to Ana even as Winston frantically tried to shove him into a clunky harness that reminds him far too strongly of Lena’s first Chronal Accelerator. It’s too much and he shakes his head, vision blurring as the tears swimming in his own useless eyes send the nanites linked to the visor into a frenzy. _I can’t_ … He must’ve said something aloud because Winston grabs him by the shoulder a second later, shaking him hard to get Jack to focus on him, eyes dark with grief. “You can save her, but you have to do this.” He’s guiding Jack’s hand down to the activation button now, making sure he knows where it is before pulling away, leaving the final decision to Jack as he steps back. He’s barely taken two steps when he tenses as they both hear the shotguns firing again and horrified understanding slams into Jack when Winston lets out a low inarticulate cry of pain.

   There was only one person capable of getting through the barrier without breaking it first, and Jack feels something shatter in his chest as he mets Winston’s eyes one last time, aching at the sight of the hope still in them as he forces out one final word. “Please…” Winston was falling now, and behind him Jack can see where the dark shape is taking on a solid form, a knot forming in his stomach as they stare at one another.

“Reaper…” It’s a whisper, a promise - both to the friends that this monster has killed, and the man that had died years ago to make this monster. He will fix this, he has to because he can’t let it end here in the basement of the base that had once been their home. He can’t let their deaths mean nothing, and with trembling hands he pressed down the activation button, praying that this insanity will work. Praying that for once luck will be on their side and that they will be granted a miracle. Reaper is moving towards him now, both guns aimed at him and he knows that this time the other man won’t hesitate to shoot. Realising that Talon intends for Overwatch to die once and for all today, but it doesn’t matter because he can feel the device whirring to life on his chest, blue light bathing the room and he can see Reaper tense and flinch at the display.

“What are you up to Mi Sol?”

    Jack flinches at the old nickname, butchered and ruined by the hate and anger in Reaper’s voice, and his vision blurs for a moment before he straightens.

“Saving you.”

   An inarticulate snarl of rage meets his words, and he hears the guns firing, but the sound seems as though it’s coming from miles away rather than from within the fading cocoon of Winston’s shield barrier. He gets a fleeting glimpse of Reaper charging at him and of Ana and Winston lying broken in his wake as he closed his eyes. More casualties of a war that should never have happened, and that will never happen if he has anything to say about it. Jack’s eyes fly open again as claws rake his front, no doubt trying to remove the device but it’s too late as there’s another flicker of light and then he’s falling, the base and Reaper disappearing as he finds himself engulfed in blue _. Lena is this what it was like for you?_ He can’t help but wonder, stomach churning and flipping as the world becomes a nauseating blur of blue and impressions of places, people, half recognized but speeding past too quickly for him to put a name to.

   There’s pressure in his chest, a feeling of being unable to breathe, emotions choking him as he catches glimpses of war, of deaths and battles…of betrayal…and in the end he has to close his eyes against the overwhelming onslaught, unable to bear seeing his failures anymore. Instead, he focuses on the mantra of names that had been running through his mind from the moment they had concocted this plan, only this time there are three new names on the list.

_…ena…Ana…Winston…Soldier 76…_


	2. Chapter 2

**_…ena…Ana…Winston…Soldier 76…_ **

    The next thing that Jack was aware of is pain. Not the ever-present ache of past injuries and old age that he had grown accustomed to over the last few years, in fact, there was no trace of that dull ache. Instead, there was the sharp, eye-watering pain of fresh injuries and his stomach twisted unpleasantly for a moment. _What the hell had happened?_ He could remember falling, time flickering past him in a seemingly never-ending stream of memories and decisions that he wished that he could just forget. He had no recollection of the fall ending, but he can remember the wave of darkness that had swept over him, the pressure that had become unbearable at the end, his body feeling as though it was being forced through a tunnel before the world had disappeared around him. Slowly he shifted, trying to take stock of his body and work out where the pain was coming from. His brow furrowing as he registered the dull, throbbing pain in his head, which explains the nausea curling in the pit of his stomach, and there was a sharp pain in his side, the unfortunately familiar agony of broken ribs and he wondered if he had landed poorly from the fall.

    It hurt, but he pushed through the pain with the ease of long practice, and now that his mind was catching up with the present he became aware of the noise surrounding him. He could hear people moving around him, talking in hushed voices, interrupted every now and then by machines beeping and what sounded like alarms going off here and there. Panic gripped him for a moment at the thought of being surrounded by unknown people. They’d had no idea what he was going to be greeted with at the other end of his fall through time, Lena hadn’t been there to ask, and even if she had been, she’d never gone this far back and never deliberately. It was uncharted territory for all of them, another reason why they would never have risked it if they’d had any other options left, and Jack almost wished that he didn’t need to open his eyes. That he didn’t need to see the world that he had returned to, even if their insane plan had worked. However, the choice was taken from him a moment later when there was a brief lull in the hushed voices closest to him, and he jumped, realizing that he must be lying on a bed of some sort when he felt it dip beside him a second before warm fingers tapped his cheek.

“Jack? Jack, can you hear me?” That voice, he swallowed thickly, eyes stinging as he let it wash over him for a moment before he slowly inched his eyes open. The first thing that hit him was the lack of crimson tainting his vision, and he blinked, realising that his visor was gone. But it was more than that, his stomach lurching as he realised that he can see, the world bright and real around him, coming into focus in a way that it hadn’t for years. It’s overwhelming, but not as much as the sight of Gabriel leant over him, and his breath caught as he took in the worried expression on the other man’s face. His heart was hammering in his chest as he studied Gabriel’s face - real and human, and his fingers itched to reach out and touch as though he no longer trusted his own eyes. And he found himself searching dark eyes for any sign of the anger, the jealousy…and later the hatred that had defined their relationship towards the end, but there was no sign of any of those emotions.

   Instead, all he could make out was worry, and the same hint of fear that had always greeted him whenever he’d been injured on a mission -at least before…he swallowed again, heart aching at the pure, unadulterated relief that crept across Gabriel’s face as their gazes met for a moment. “Mi Sol?” He didn’t mean to, but he can’t forget the last time he’d heard that nickname and he flinched badly, already cursing himself for the reaction even before he caught the hurt that flooded Gabriel’s eyes, and the way his expression tightened, clearly fighting to keep his voice even as he asked. “Jack are you okay?”

    For a moment, he feared that he was about to break down into hysterical laughter at the question, unable to remember the last time that Gabriel had looked at him like that or asked him a question like that. As though he was genuinely worried about him and for a moment his vision swam, his mind filled with arguments, fights and the sight of Reaper rushing towards him, Ana and Winston lying still and silent in his wake. He felt sick. In all their concerns and fears about what might happen if he succeeded in making the trip back in time, he had never once let himself think about how it would feel to be confronted with this world. To be faced with a world where his friends were still alive, a world where Gabe was alive and whole, where neither of them had yet started on the path that would later destroy everything. Gabriel, who was still staring at him with concerned eyes, concern that was slowly beginning to give way to alarm and feeling suddenly vulnerable Jack lurched forward, reaching for him. Only to discover that was a mistake as pain lanced through him, his vision blacking out for a moment and he wasn’t sure which of them cried out, but when the world came back into focus he found himself being held against the other man’s chest. Cradled, as though he was the most precious thing in the world. It was too much, and he couldn’t do anything as the first sob bubbled up in the back of his throat.

    At any other time, the look of panic of Gabriel’s face would have been an amusing sight, but right now it was yet another reminder that this was the old Gabriel and another sob welled up and then another, until he was shaking and weeping against the other man’s shoulder. It’s too much. He had thought that he’d been prepared for this, that he would be able to focus on the task of changing the future, of fixing the mistakes they had made - that he had made, without distraction. But he hadn’t expected, or rather he hadn’t been prepared for being plunged back into his old life, his old feelings and he shuddered as he realised that he has no idea what to do or how to react. He didn’t know how to be that Jack Morrison anymore he realised, and there was a fresh pang of grief as it dawned on him that he had added the wrong name to his mental list. It hadn’t been Soldier 76 who had died, but Jack Morrison…

“Jack?” Gabriel’s voice was soft and warm against his ear, nothing like the harsh rasp of Reaper and yet Jack couldn’t forget that other voice. Just as he couldn’t ignore the fact that the man currently holding him tightly was the same one who had spent the last couple of years trying to kill him, that the two men were one and the same, and he hated himself for it, stiffening against Gabriel and knowing that his reaction was only fanning the other man’s concern. “Jack? What is going on?” Jack keened at the question, the noise slipping out unbidden as he shook his head in response, breath quickening at the thought of what would happen if he tried to answer that question. _Don’t ask, don’t make me tell you about what I did, what you did, what we became…_ he should’ve known that it wasn’t going to be that easy, and fresh tears trickled down his cheeks as he felt Gabriel’s arms tighten cautiously around him, clearly being mindful of his injuries and for a moment all he could focus on was the feeling of being held, of being protected. “Mi Sol, talk to me.”

“D-Don’t call me that, not at the moment,” Jack whispered, his voice strained, trembling even as he clutched at Gabriel, holding on for dear life as though that alone would be enough to stop the future from happening. Once upon a time that nickname, spoken with such warmth that it brought fresh tears to his eyes, had always brought a smile to his lips and left him feeling on top of the world. Now though it had the opposite effect, sending a shiver down his back, another less welcome voice echoing in his mind and drowning out Gabriel’s voice. “Please…” _Just for a while at least, let me pretend that this is all there is_ , he couldn’t say that aloud though, and he didn’t dare look up, not wanting to see the expression that Gabriel would be wearing right now. Instead, he pressed his face further into the other man’s shoulder. Burying himself in the familiar scent as he prayed that Gabriel would let him stay there for a few minutes longer, hiccupping softly as the sobs continued to rise. Gabriel had frozen for a moment at the quiet plea, and he clearly wanted to argue, but after a moment he sighed, fingers moving as he traced soothing patterns against Jack’s back.

“All right Mi…Jack.”

**

   Jack had no idea how long they’d sat like that, his sobs eventually petering out, leaving him exhausted and limp against Gabriel even though it felt as though he’d barely scratched the surface of the storm that was raging in his chest. It was all too much. Then past. The present. He didn’t know what to do, and the fear that he wasn’t going to be able to fix this, that they had sent the wrong person back was rising once more and threatening to drown him. His injuries were throbbing, adding to the pounding in his head and slowly, reluctantly he pulled back and glanced down at himself, hoping that focusing on that would let him regain some semblance of control over his emotions. He frowned as he took in the bandages that were wrapped around his torso and he guessed that if he reached up, he would find another one around his head. His confusion deepened for a moment, as he wracked his brain to try and work out what had happened to give him these injuries. Trying to establish exactly what time he’d gone back to, because it had already dawned on him from the lack of aches and pains, the fact that he can see, and the brief glimpse of smooth skin he’d glimpsed when looking at his injuries, that he hadn’t been sent back as a bystander like he’d expected. Instead, it seemed as though he’d been given a chance to replay everything as himself, to try again at being Jack Morrison…if he could remember how to be a man that in his mind at least, had died years ago.

    His stomach was churning again, as too many thoughts whizzed around his mind and he was still no closer to working out when or where he was and admitting defeat he turned to the one person who could hopefully give him answers. Hating that he had to forcefully remind himself that right now, in this time at least, he could still trust Gabriel to answer him truthfully. That the lies and the secrets had all started much later, although his stomach flipped unpleasantly as he realised that he’s already changing that just by his very presence. As soon as he realised that, he felt the weight of the future, of the promises he made pressing more heavily on his shoulders.

“What happened?”

   Instincts that he no longer needed but couldn’t forget had him tensing up when Gabriel’s eyes narrowed at the question, and for a moment his vision blurred, and all he could see was Reaper’s expressionless mask and the crimson eyes peering out at him. It took everything he had not to flinch back again, blinking until the image faded and all that was left is Gabriel, studying him with an intensity that left him feeling overwhelmed.

“You don’t remember?” This version of Gabriel was easier to deal with, the sharp tone of a commander showing through, able to demand truthful answers with the bare minimum of effort. However, it didn’t help his memory, although as he let his gaze drift, coming to rest on the battle-stained clothes the older man was wearing he stilled, recognition finally dawning. He knew that uniform, and his eyes darted to the sleeve, noting the lack of insignia with a sharp pang. There was no affiliation to Overwatch or Blackwatch, and his breath caught as he stared at the blank sleeve, just how far back had Winston managed to send him? He didn’t get chance to dwell on that thought because there was a gentle finger beneath his chin, Gabriel tilting his face up to study him intently, and Jack prayed that his current thoughts weren’t written over his face. He knew that he had always been an open book back then and for a moment he missed the protection of his mask. “I…” Gabriel broke off, scowling and Jack wondered just what his expression had been showing when the fingers against his chin tightened. “It’s not important.”

“G-Gabe?” He faltered over the nickname, struggling to hold Gabriel’s gaze as he remembered the last time he had said that name. Recalling how he had whispered it over a broken communicator when they had been buried beneath the ruins of Zurich, and he swallowed when he remembered being able to hear Gabriel’s weak breathing on the other end and then nothing, unsure of whether the other man had even been able to hear his voice. Jack couldn’t help but tremble at the memory, and he wanted to curse as he felt fresh dampness on his cheeks. It’s too much, the memories were too strong, too clear after the fall and they were made worse by the weight of the promises he’d made, the duty he had to fix all of this, to stop the future from happening. Gabriel’s fingers were on his cheeks once more, brushing away the tears as they fell, his suspicion and irritation fading away and being replaced with concern once more.

“Let’s get you settled, okay?” He murmured as Jack found himself leaning into the gentle touch, and he lacked the will or strength to argue as Gabriel guided him back down on the bed, fingers lingering on his cheek for a moment before they moved up to brush his hair away from his face. “I think the doctors should take another look at that head of yours.” Jack blinked at that, slowly reaching up, unsurprised to find bandages wrapped around his head as well and relief flooded him. It wouldn’t help with his main issue of working out when he’s gone back to or what had happened to him, but at least it offered him an excuse that he could use to explain away his jumpiness and inability to control his emotions. Although he knows that it will only work for a short time, which means that he will have to get himself under control, and his gaze flickered to Gabriel who was still watching him with worried eyes.

“Head?” At least he didn’t have to fake his confusion for that. He couldn’t remember a mission that had landed him in bed with these particular injuries, but then again by the time Overwatch had fallen he had forgotten far too many things, and as Gabriel’s expression darkened for a moment he promised himself that he wouldn’t let himself forget anything this time. _You forgot didn’t you, Mi Sol?_ Reaper’s voice played through his mind again, accompanied by the memory of cold claws tightening around his throat and he swallowed thickly, nervous again as he realised just how close Gabriel was and how easy it would be for him to…

“Don’t worry,” Gabriel soothed, apparently mistaking the reaction for concern over what had happened to him and Jack was content to let him think that for now, relieved that the other man couldn’t see the memories that were replaying through his mind. It was bad enough that he couldn’t escape them, he didn’t want to imagine how it would feel for Gabriel to get even a glimpse of what might lie ahead of them. “Just try and rest while I find a doctor.” Gabriel was speaking again, the soft voice grounding him in the present, and his lips quirked weakly when he realised that it was an order, and he nodded, more than happy to obey for once although he found it harder than he anticipated not to follow when Gabriel pulled back. Gabriel clearly noticed the reaction, lips quirking slightly before he brushed his fingers through Jack’s hair again. “Rest Jack.” This time when he pulled back he moved away before Jack could protest, and Jack watched him for a moment as he moved across to talk to an unfamiliar woman who was leaning over the bed opposite his. It took him a moment to focus, blinking as he took in the makeshift infirmary properly for the first time before he let his gaze drift upwards to the ceiling, and he found himself fighting off sleep now that he’s alone.

    The temptation to obey the command to rest and just let his heavy eyes close was almost overwhelming, especially as the throbbing in his head seemed to be intensifying with each breath he took. However, now that that Gabriel was no longer hovering over him and demanding his attention, it left his mind free to drift to other topics, and he had to squeeze his eyes shut, fighting back fresh tears as grief hit him anew. He had pushed it to the back of his mind when he’d woken up, and it had been buried, hidden beneath the memories that had overwhelmed him and the fact that Gabriel - the old Gabriel had been right there in front of him. However, now all he could see was Ana and Winston, as their deaths replayed in his mind, and there was a bitter taste in his mouth as he listened to the hustle and bustle around him. He’d survived, and it seemed as though their crazy plan had worked, a second chance that he knew he didn’t deserve stretching out in front of him and yet all he could see was their broken forms. The promises he had made them rang in his ears once more, and all he could think was that it should be them getting this chance, that they should be the ones with a future stretching out in front of them.

    Part of him knows that they do. That if he managed to keep his promises, and as long as he stoped the past from repeating itself, then they will get the future they deserve. That Winston won’t be forced to face years alone in the empty corridors and rooms of Gibraltar, constantly debating with himself whether to risk everything or not. Ana won’t have to fake her death, won’t have to leave Fareeha to grow up thinking that her mother didn’t love her. He can do that for them, he can give them that and yet it wasn’t enough to stop his eyes from stinging, as the storm rose in his chest once more, curling in on himself under the weight of their loss. The weight of their sacrifice threatening to suffocate him.

   In sheer desperation, he forced his eyes open again, struggling to focus, still unused to seeing the world with such clarity as he sought out Gabriel. He focused on the other man, clinging to the sight of him, alive and well…human, unlike the dark figure haunting his memories, and for now it helped, grounding him in the present, and it calmed him even though it did little to soothe his doubts and he felt fresh tears on his cheeks.

_Ana, Winston. It worked, it really worked, and it was because of you…but can I really do this?_


End file.
